Curses!

I received my first hate mail last week.

I know. Moi?

It has taken all of my strength, but I decided that I am not going to reply to her email directly. With a nod to Dooce and her infamous hate mail posts, I've decided to post it on my blog instead.

Without further ado...

Hello Colleen
Today was the first time and last time I will ever go to your website. I started reading and read a curse.
I then went to your profile and when you talked about cursing too much I had to heartily agree.
I am a Christian, and those words are not in my vocabulary. I stick to the Christian Internet Code of Ethics, where it talks about not visiting websites that compromise my life in Christ. Do I think I am better than you? No, Jesus says we are all born sinners! But I am a sinner saved by grace,the blood shed by Jesus on the cross!! "But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak,  they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment". Matthew 12:36. I hope and pray that you may see this and accept Jesus as your Saviour.
Sincerely,  the Servant

I would love to tell her that I curse because it brings a sense of levity and irreverence to the seemingly mundane topic of yard sales. And I curse on my blog because I occasionally curse in real life. I write the same way that I talk. My cursing has nothing to do with God or religion. Nothing that I write in my blog would personally offend a normal person. (Unless you are averse to stories about defloration on bridal night or throwing pennies at hookers. Which I would totally understand.)

No, I don't think an email response would have been constructive for either of us. She wrote about her ethical & religious beliefs, and any smart-ass reply that I write would not convince her to change her point-of-view. The same way that her email doesn't convince me to get my ass to church.

And that is fine with me. She has strong beliefs, which I completely respect. I'm never going to sway her to think differently. So, it doesn't make sense for me to waste energy on a potentially ugly email exchange.

Don't get me wrong - I love a good debate. Just ask my neighbor, the Tastykake Man. We almost got into a fist fight while we were debating the merits of alternative energy for automobiles.

But when it comes to my blog that has nothing to do with politics or religion, I've learned that I shouldn't waste time arguing with strangers about politics or religion.

How about you? Have you ever received negative comments or emails because of something you wrote on your blog? How did you respond? How would you have responded if you received the same email?

P.S Thank you to all of the lovely freshvintage readers who left very nice comments when I wrote about my hate mail. I am going to re-read all of your comments whenever I feel stupid and depressed and don't want to get out of bed.

P.S.S. Here is the Christian Internet Code of Ethics. I think the one that talks about "not visiting websites that compromise my life in Christ" is really referring to pornography. Not blogs about Pyrex and vintage rick-rack.

Comments

[Devon]

I'm sorry to hear this. Blogs are about transparency in your own life and this means that an email about you or your writing style feels like a personal attack. And that stinks.

Keep your head up and remember that it's not personal. Just one person trying to impose their beliefs on another. Which is just shit. ;)

[MagiaMia]

Hahahahahahahaha. That whole post is totally effin hilarious! I have been exposed to more than my share of religious zealots, and this one is no different. This type of person really needs to get a life and stop worrying about cleaning everyone else's house (and mouth). It is your Beloved Irreverence that has kept me a devoted reader of your blog. So keep it up DAMN IT!

P.S. When I start my blog, I'm quite sure I will need your Rah Rah Cheers of Encouragement when I get my first hate-mail :)

[Jenny]

Wow - I can see (I guess) not reading your blog if she is so offended, but writing you to let you know about all that is just plain weird ... and in that wacky code (who knew?!) it says "When, by accident (and it happens to everyone), I find such a page loading, I leave it immediately." Not "When, by accident ... I will send them a sanctimonious email."

Like you, I prefer to follow the Cursing Internet Code of Ethics. (But not quite so much that I substituted the OTHER C-word that came to mind!)

[Designers' Brew]

Wow. Yes it sounds like she expanded the range of Inappropriate Reading for Christians quite a bit, there. Besides, where exactly in the Bible does it say you can't say swear words? Carlin 20:22?

[Sarah :: Wedding Hub Event Planning]

It's such a bummer when people attack other people's character via the internet. Also, not saying you are or aren't Christian, but it bothers me when people assume someone isn't, because of something like "cursing." Anyway, you're great, don't stress over it!

[Kirsten]

Quite honestly, I didn't notice that you use such horrible words on your blog. I subscribe to some blogs that require me to weed through all the profanity to get to what the writer is trying to say.

I am so NOT a fan of religious nutjobs like that, but I am very much a fan of both your blogs.

[kitschen pink]

I don't think I'd call this hate mail. She just makes her point. I guess that's what we all do when we comment, we're just not inclined to be so judgemental and we comment out in the open instead of sending a personal email.
I would have deleted it but I think it's a very good idea to put these things on your blog if they upset you.
But I am a bit worried ... that day of judgement thing... it's not like a real 24 hour day is it? Because they'll need a lot longer than that for me to give an account of all my idle words! t.xxx

[knittinandnoodlin]

Hrm. Well, if you're going to get "hate mail"...that's the kind to get, right? A kind suggestion to use a different choice of words in your blog from an obviously very nice Christian lady.

I don't recall, in all of my years of church attendance, ever reading in the Bible that I should not use curse words. That was a rule the adults told me about (and, when I reached a certain age, elected to ignore).

I did, however, read a thing or two about loving and accepting your neighbor and treating them as you would like to be treated.

And, judge not, lest ye be judged...or something like that.

So, good job, Colleen.

[Michele Bailey-Lessirard]

I have gotten hate mail from posts on my blog...the first time it happened it felt like getting energetically punched in the stomach.

It leaves one reeling. I love your blog. The person is a cyber-bully. I pray for Servant that she sees the error in her ways. *smile*

[Sarah]

Ah well, I guess I am a bad person b/c it made me laugh. People will get their panties in a wad about the littlest things. Over in my neck of the woods it was that I am a "bad mother" because we voted for Obama who is clearly a "baby killer." I mean obviously my voting for Obama means that I would feed my child to wolves, right? LOL

I just delete and move on.

I figure it's my party and you don't have to play if you don't want to.

[Jennifer W. (Midwest Neurotica)]

The thing that bothers me so much about these types of "Christians" is that they are often the first ones to complain or criticize. Their actions go against what they say they so devoutly believe in.

[Mary]

I just discovered your website/blog, which I enjoy immensely, and I find your humor witty and amusing! I am a recovering Catholic and, yet, growing up my parents always used "colorful metaphors", and I do as well. I reckon it's a good thing I like the smell of sulphur!;)

[julie]

I've had two hate comments and I have to say they completely freaked me out. It took everything I had to ignore it and delete it. Keep posting in you own voice...cursing and all!

[Mary]

I just discovered your website/blog, which I enjoy immensely, and I find your humor witty and amusing! I am a recovering Catholic and, yet, growing up my parents always used "colorful metaphors", and I do as well. I reckon it's good thing I like the smell of sulphur!;)

[Lauren]

Oh, please. Even my pastor lets out a curse every once in a while. We are all human and none of us are perfect. If whoever sent you that unpleasant note had even bothered to read the whole rest of the bible, she would have known that Jesus really only cares about what's in your heart. His basic rules for us are to love Him, and to love each other. If you can do that, everything else follows.

This Christian loves your blog. Stay as you are because you are fabulous and very honest about WHO you are.

[denise:)]

"F-her"! Sorry- couldn't resist... :D

I will never understand how that kind of malarky is supposed to sway us to come to church, when they just come out looking like wack-jobs! I love your writing because it feels like you're actually talking about your day and that's a God-Given Talent, Lady! LOL!

[Cynthia]

I am catholic and even pray the rosary once a week:) But I also swear (not like a sailor of course) and eat meat on fridays during lent if I can't get to McDonalds for a Fish sandwich. Oh please disregard that woman.I just happened upon your blog today and glad f-ing did. You Rock, Will so be back:)

[brigita]

Oh, sweet merciful crap. Cursing? What ever happened to judge not lest ye be judged? Gah.

One doesn't generally get much hate mail at a "I've got the cancer" kinda blog (the old one) but I did have one person say that my sarcasm/cynicism was "sad" and another person got mad at me for revealing a plot line from the Real World.

And I thought *I* didn't have a life. ;)

[Bella]

I sometimes wonder why people like this are EVER motivated to get internet connections.....

That's pretty tame for hat mail however, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Curse away!

[Jenna Z]

GAG! I would call this blatant proselytizing email arrogant and annoying! You don't the webpage? Don't read it! But don't feel the need to explain and lift yourself up above the "level" of the writer. But that's me, strictly NON-religious and greatly irritated by anyone who TELLS me they are going to pray for. If you're going to pray for me, just do it. But by telling me, you are obviously trying to get more out of it then just the effect of the prayer.

[Janelle]

I don't get enough traffic on my blog to have garnered any hate mail. But I did, apparently, greatly offend a friend of a friend who read my blog completely unbeknownst to me.

I made fun of Sarah Palin. And the FOAF was NOT amused.

My feeling is, it's my blog and I can say whatever I want and nobody has to read it if they don't want. So there, hmph!

Your blogs are awesome, and I can honestly say I've never noticed any cursing. But that may be because I have a bit of a pottymouth myself.

[emily ruth]

well, you know, jesus loves us all: cursers & uppity christian ethicists alike...

my favorite bumper sticker is 'jesus loves you. everyone else thinks you're an asshole'
but don't tell my pastor:)

[sharon]

Good for you!! I dont know you and have never read your blog. A friend told me about your hate mail. Why? Because I too was once again the vitim of a vicious bitch!! Yes I said bitch, who I do not know because she is using a "special" name. Not brave enought to tell me who she is. I too could have deleted the comment but NO I'd rather let everyone see what a miserable person she is. I'm so happy that you did not delete too. I'm tired of others telling us what we can and can't do. It's none of their business. Dont like it, dont read it!! Simple!!! Hang in there and keep on being YOU!! Not someone that you are NOT!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!

[Jeannie]

I have to say, this lady's e-mail is totally hilarious...If this blog offended her, I can only imagine the "hate mail" she sends to some other website owners! I can also only imagine the skeletons that must be in her closet that would compel her to write this in the first place! The mischievous side of me would have loved to respond to her e-mail with a long string of curse words, thanking her for her for letting me know that she's a nut!

[Maddie]

Ummmmmmm does this mean I have to quit doing kinky stuff with my vintage rickrack??..please say no :)

maddie